Home for 6 Months

All is going quite well. The biggest news since the last post is that the last 2+ weeks have been blissful for me in terms of sleep. Nary a peep from down the hall, and at most, just covering Harper up with her blanket puts her back into dreamland. I am cautiously optimistic it can stay like this... Time will tell as they say. And Harper now likes to watch Dora the Explorer on TV, which has been great to use the 24 minutes to run up and down the stairs, do housework or bills, etc. without a 3 foot shadow.

We had a nice Thanksgiving here at home. The solo picture for this post is after my sister-in-law Anna gave Harper a whip cream shooter. We are looking forward to the holidays, our upcoming trip to Minnesota, and some time off of work and school. But you can be sure that there will be no picture of Harper with Santa - he strolled through the mall last weekend and Jaden was stoked; Harper was terrified. She might be mollified over time once she figures out the big red man brings presents.

A hit. (Thanks, Kim, for the picture.)

6 months ago today...

Miss Harper walked into my life ... literally. She was led into the hotel by the SWI director and a woman who I later found out was the doctor for the SWI. Harper was carrying a red plastic bag of snacks - individually wrapped crackers, cookies, and mini-cakes. They told me she likes to eat. I knew then we would get along just fine... I actually don't think fondly of that day. It makes my stomach knot up all over again to think about those first few hours, those first few days. But I kept thinking, and had faith, that she would come to accept me and all the changes that would take place for her. Now 6 months later, I think she has adjusted remarkably well to her new life. She is happy, affectionate, verbal, and in the past few days has gone to singing her own little song as she goes about her business. As we near Thanksgiving, it is easy for me to be thankful. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

My first glimpse of Harper (aka Min Yan; "Yin Yin").

She stalled and needed some encouragement.

Here she comes...

The doctor is trying to keep her from crying after
telling her this was "mama". Notice she has a snack in hand!

 

Home for 5 Months

Yes, it is the 5-month anniversary of coming home from China with Harper. Seems both a long and a short time ago, depending on what memory crops up. We are humming along and my new normal of two kids, two cats, one house, and a job where I wear multiple hats is sinking in. It is not likely to get easier any time soon, but the holidays should afford a nice break, although the work momentum as a major project is being launched could cut into the much-awaited time off. Employment, however, is still a nice thing...

Ah yes, the sleep. Better? Not really. If Harper is sick, it is going to be a long night. If she is feeling good, then there is a possibility she sleeps through the night (rare) or wakes up only once (piece of cake). But there was a pattern for a few nights in a row of waking every 15-30 min between 10 pm and 1 am. Almost did me in. Walking zombie. Luckily, that has not repeated. But I think there are other times she wakes up and knows Jaden is there, and doesn't cry out. Fortunately Jaden is still good with sharing a room, so time will tell if sleep becomes a non-issue for us in the coming months.

Harper picks up words and phrases at a rapid pace. My favorite of last night while trick'or'treating was "no touch my candy mama" when I asked if she wanted help to carry her plastic pumpkin stuffed with treats (how did she know I might snag one?!?). She continues to enjoy daycare, and they take good care of her. She and Jaden mostly get along, but Harper likes to tease and often insists "no", which can send Jaden into a tizzy. I am hoping as Harper gets older and more verbal there are less "incidences".

Some pictures...

Oct 7. Trying on hats from Aunt Lisa in
preparation for winter holiday trip to Minnesota.

Oct 13. Jaden and Harper with umbrellas on a rainy Saturday.

Oct 27. The girls in costume going to friend Kim's party.

Oct 31. Jaden as Yoshi (from Mario Bros) and Harper as Cinderella
before heading out. Jaden not pleased for the picture delay.

Oct 31. Cinderella and her candy stash.

Home 4 Months & the Sleep Experiment

Yes, it was 4 months ago today we became an official family of three (well, five if you count the cats!). It is still a work in progress as we continue to find our routines. The "sleep experiment" was at Jaden's insistence last week, following Harper's unwillingness (okay, complete defiance) in going to bed. It all started with her wanting to wear a dress to bed. I had to put my foot down, right? With this kid, you do something once she will want it that way every time (case in point, I let her wear Jaden's three-sizes-too-big shoes to Target on the weekend, and now she wants to wear them everywhere...!). But I digress...So with Harper throwing a beautiful temper tantrum that night and I had to just walk away and let her come back downstairs, Jaden takes over and asks her if she wants to sleep in her room? Hmm, crying stops and she nods her head. I take my cue - will she put on her pajamas and then she can sleep in Jaden's room? Yes, she nods again. So at 10:15 pm I am in the garage unearthing the toddler bed and dragging it up the stairs with two "helpers!". Everyone was asleep by 11 pm - not really a parenting success story but possibly the start of a better routine. Tonight is night #5. It is still exciting for Harper to have all that freedom so it takes her quite a while to settle down and finally get her head to stay on her new toddler pillow (the result of the Target trip, along with new sheets for Jaden). And if you read the post where I had dragged a mattress into Harper's room, yep, now dragged into Jaden's room. Almost 2200 sq ft of house and we are all in 100 sq ft of room for part of the night. But I have only stayed in there if Harper cries out and seems restless. Last night was the best so far, and I may have dreamt her saying "ma". I try to get down the hall fast so Jaden does not wake up. I went into the room to wake them up this morning and Harper had a stuffed animal in each hand and was happily jumping on the mattress. A better routine? Will she start sleeping through the night on a regular basis (4 consecutive nights is still the US record)? Stay tuned...

All else is going good. The amount of homework for 3rd grade seems ridiculous and our weekday schedule revolves around ensuring Jaden's tutor can come to the house at least 1-2 nights/week. Harper and I do a lot of quality grocery shopping during the tutor time. Harper continues to learn words and puts them together. Her usual expressions are "I did it!" and "wait for me". She sings her version of A-B-Cs and can count some of the numbers to 10 when Jaden gets her going on a sequence. She still adores Jaden, and in the last two weeks, Jaden has totally softened to her and is so good and patient with her. Randomly she will say "Harper, hug" and they embrace. Even when Harper is being an obstinate 2 year old, Jaden will get upset, but I haven't heard "and why did we get a baby sister?" for quite a while now. I have read that you need to give the family dynamics at least 6 months to settle. That sounds about right....

Lots of pictures, not quite in chronological order.

Sep 30. Harper the shopper.

Aug 25. After haircuts.

Sep 8. Sharing the whip cream at the bottom of the cup.

Sep 8. Lounging in friend's pool.

Sep 24. J & H with G'ma, Aunt Lisa (visiting from MN), and Uncle Matt.

Sep 24. First trip to the beach! A big thumbs up!!

A raisin snack before bed.

Aug 18. Special delivery!

Afternoon after Night #2 of the "sleep experiment". Poor Jaden!

Yesterday at local pumpkin patch. Harper was doing silly scrunched
up faces for all the pictures! (It was 90 degrees and hot!)

Home How Long?!?

I think it is 10 weeks this Friday, but now can start counting in months. Nice to be able to do that. We are almost into what will be our "usual" routine - still a bit off right now because Jaden is going to various camps these last 3 weeks as she has done most of the summer. So Harper gets to be confused as to whether Jaden is dropped off before or after she goes to daycare (started full-time last week), and where she is going! Jaden is currently at Critter Camp and Harper enjoys seeing the various animals when we drop off and pick up her big sister. I have a feeling I will be taking Harper there for camp in the coming years.

Harper has done fantastic at daycare. No big separation anxiety - just wants me to pick her up one final time and give her a kiss. I tell her "mommy has to go to work" (and try not to sigh!) and she is good to go find something or someone to play with. There is one little 5-year old girl in particular who has taken Harper under her wing - Bailey, we will miss you after this week as you go off to kindergarten! Harper is not too thrilled with the lunches, but they do come from the next door catering company and have always looked tasty to me. I hope with time she develops some like for the selection (just tonight we stopped by the Chinese restaurant again for noodles). And come nap time, they tell me she is excited to get out her cot, lies down, and takes a 1-2 hour nap. I have about given up on the weekends as there is no such cooperation for me!

The "sleep issue" with Harper suddenly took a turn for the better a few days ago. The last 4 nights she has slept through, and I have returned to my own bed (it feels quite indulgent). About 2 weeks ago I decided to park a mattress in her room and then it was easy to reassure her I was right there without even lifting my head!! She was stuffy a few nights ago and so I thought I would just try starting out in my own bed, and lo and behold, I was still there in the morning. Four consecutive nights is Harper's US record (if you followed the blog in China, she slept beautifully EVERY night while there), so finger's crossed for tonight, and the next night.... I know she will have those bad nights, but the whole house runs better if everyone gets some good rest.

And here are some pics from the last few weeks (in chronological order, kind of). Thanks again, Kim, for your contributions!

Local mall has fun water feature. Too bad she didn't have a swim diaper on!

Looking older, right? (sorry, can't figure out right now how to rotate!)

She is mostly smiley, and recent trip to dentist says all her teeth look good!

She LOVES to throw out trash. I call her fastidious.

Sent from daycare director on Harper's first day with label "she fits in perfectly!" It was gooey-messy week,
and on this day the kids played with shaving cream.

A clean frog.

Sent again from daycare director earlier this week. She was saying "look at me!", which
she says all the time, unfortunately often while I am driving!

Don't tell Harper, but Jaden and I have quite a lot of fun after
she goes to bed!!

Home Almost 6 Weeks

The lack of posting equates to the lack of free time. We have been doing the day-to-day stuff and fun stuff, too. Trips to the zoo and SeaWorld this past week. The adjusting for Harper continues but I think going all in the right direction. She has a couple more weeks before the transition to full-time daycare and I hope it will be more traumatic for me than her! She is saying many words and very pleased with herself; it would be great if her comprehension and speaking of English would all click soon. When we go to get her noodles (still her favorite thing by far!), the people in the restaurants will often speak Mandarin to her, and she always looks distressed. Triggers memories?

One "issue" we are having is with Harper waking up 1-3 times/night, most nights, but thankfully not all. She just needs to see me and she will lie down again and often be asleep in minutes. Me, not so quickly, and this has been a lot physically harder on me than traveling solo to China - much harder! I figure she must have had a co-sleep arrangement with her foster mother and so waking up alone in her room is alarming. But the frequency of her wee hour calls is slowing down and she is not as distressed when she calls out, so I just have to be patient and see how it goes. In all other ways, she is wonderful and I know to be thankful for that!

Another "issue" is Harper's adoration of Jaden. The honeymoon period for Jaden is over. She declares often that her baby sister is "annoying" as Harper climbs on her, insists she puts on her shoes, grabs her stuff, etc. There is still an underpinning of care and concern, however, so I think this is normal and will hopefully transform into a mutually enjoyable sibling relationship. How hard it must be for Jaden to share her world with a head-strong toddler, albeit sweet and funny? I need to be mindful to carve out time for just Jaden, but for now it is that 30-45 min between when the girls go to bed.

Enjoy the pictures! Thanks again to friend Kim for so many cute ones!

Miss Harper (pre-haircut).

The sisters after a trip to the mall's candy store.

First haircut, complete with bow (lasted about 10 min);
note me in the reflection working the camera.

As I said, the honeymoon is over!

Harper's love of the water has increased in recent weeks.

Trip to the San Diego zoo on 4th of July.

Thanks to friend Nora for coming with us to the zoo and accommodating
Harper's requests for up-down-up-down... (and sorry I cut off your head!).

The girls in Poppa's chair at G'ma's house. He would have enjoyed them so
much if he were still with us.

Finishing off our trip to SeaWorld last weekend with Shamu ice creams!

Home for 3 Weeks

The first week or two home seemed really long thanks to jet lag, but now time is picking up again. Harper is still busy and in almost constant motion when at home. She can also be calm and stay in one place for quite a while when I need her to be (e.g., meeting at work that lasted 1.5 hours, hair appointment). I am back at work part-time, sans Harper except for visits, and teaching my three classes at the gym. She seems to be doing well with this additional major adjustment and accepts and enjoys her caregivers. I have been able to leave Jaden with her in some cases and that is the best. She will start in full-time daycare at the end of July - for now she has a wonderful manny two days/week and an occasional favorite babysitter, Maddison, or good friend and sitter, Diane.

Jaden continues to impress me with her increasing maturity and sweet, helpful nature towards her sister. And it is definitely a "monkey see, monkey do" relationship that has been very helpful in many cases, mostly getting Harper comfortable in water. This last week was big - Harper stripping down and standing by the bathtub whenever the mood strikes her (often), "swimming" in the pool, and joining me or Jaden in the shower. Water on her head still gives her some momentary panic, but that is getting better. There are lots of pictures to document this major transformation.

Harper still loves noodles over all else (she just cried when I told her she ate all of them at lunch), and yogurt has become a favorite. She is finicky about most other foods and some days gives a "yes", other days a "no". I try to have a lot of choices on hand, and keep trying new things. I have not really found one meal we all like yet outside of noodles...

The only tough part now is the communication. As she has become more comfortable with me, she will say something in Mandarin (or baby talk Mandarin - who knows?) and be totally annoyed because I have no idea what she means. Usually the context is known and I can figure it out, but not always. Her comprehension of English is increasing daily, and she will readily mimic us. And uses words that she knows spontaneously. Cute today I handed her some watermelon and she said "tat yu"!

The sisters having fun together.

Harper enjoying a yogurt popsicle.

Harper and Jaden in pool with friend, Grant (Diane's brother-in-law).

Harper at our association's kiddie pool (nice as it is 1 foot water height throughout).

Competing water interests - Mickey for a drink, Harper for hand washing.
Jaden helping out.

Pictures from the Week

Some more from last Sunday, and additional ones through today.  Thanks to the friends that shot some goodies, too.

(credit: VI Photos)

Add with picture above to see "sister" shirts! (I assured Jaden
I would Photoshop the man out before pic went into the scrapbook!)
(credit: VI Photos - Kim!)

Mellow Miss Harper (credit: Lina)

At today's end-of-year party at Jaden's school. Harper enjoying
her first smoothie.

Such nice smiles, and at the same time!

Adjustments

So many things for Harper to adjust to, as well as Jaden, me, and the cats!  I think we are progressing towards a new set of routines, but still a ways to go. Harper is for the most part sleeping through the night, although she had some reason to be up at 3 am the night before last, which led to a few cat naps yesterday, and then a bed time after her sister last night. I hope to get the bedtime routine sorted out this week.

I am still finding things that Harper likes to eat. Maybe she is more finicky than I originally thought in that one day she will eat lots of something (e.g., egg) and the next day turns up her nose. Cheerios and other "favorite" snacks get the same response. But she likes a lot bananas, apples, and melon. I am still giving her a bottle with toddler formula since she will not yet drink milk from a sippy cup (or she is messing with me - she does like to tease), but will have to wean her off in the coming weeks and get her ready for drinking from an open cup as will be done at daycare.

Jaden and Harper for the most part get along wonderfully. Harper LOVES watching and imitating her sister, and often hands something to Jaden for her to do and not me (e.g., toothbrush, shoe to put on). And Jaden is mostly patient and kind to her, with some sporadic periods of exasperation as it is hard to turn Harper "off" once she is wound up. They both love the playground/park and we are checking out different ones in our area. Jaden has accomplished the monkey bars this year and it is her challenge to traverse all that she finds multiple times. This delights Harper who I just need to make sure is out of the way of swinging feet. And Harper's favorite is the slide; the swing is fun for a minute and then her face clouds over and she wants off.

Jaden can also be credited with turning Harper from a bath hater to a bath lover. Part of the success I also found was giving her the washcloth as she was taught exactly how to use it. She scrubs and will even put it on her head, which if I did would elicit shrieks. And she will let me put lotion on her dry skin without protest as I got before, so big progress. And she will imitate Jaden brushing her teeth and let Jaden do her back molars. Good progress here, too!

I have taken Harper into the office a few times as I have started back at work, in a  part-time capacity mostly working at home. It is my biggest adjustment to start the juggle of kids (like that plural!), work, cats, and house stuff. And I started back at the gym last night with my usual babysitter for Harper and Jaden (I have three 1-hour classes/week; yoga and cardio). Aunt Lisa had visited at the end of last week and was the best first babysitter for Harper who is so much more aware than Jaden who was younger. This is all good preparation for daycare which starts with a nanny (er, manny) next week for 2 days/week and then full-time daycare the third week of July.

I will post more pictures soon. I definitely need to take more!

Beginning of last week. You never knew when jet lag would hit!

Aunt Lisa enjoying the girls.

Harper finding out the chair vibrates - lots of giggles!

Harper at work with mama. Still lovin' those stickers!

At grocery store. Harper intent on watching her sister's every move.

One of Jaden's favorite activities is to visit the pet store. Harper liked it, too!

Another Jaden activity shown to Harper was feeding the birds
at the mall when we have coffee time with the gals after the gym. I am not
back to weekend teaching yet, but we still partook in the social part!